Limiting beliefs- Why you should change the way you talk to your children

We all have limiting beliefs. I’m not good enough. I’m ugly. Or even, I’m worthless.  I can’t do it.  I’ll never be successful.  Unfortunately, these thoughts often originate in our childhood. Typically, this is not something that is done by our parents/caregivers on purpose. It is quite easily done, though. Did anyone grow up with parents who constantly argued about money, or said things like, “We don’t have enough for that.” How about parents who talked about how much they hated how they looked and scrutinized every stretch mark? We don’t do these things to mess up our kids.  We just do them without thinking.  But we need to think about making a habit out of speaking more positively, because little ears are listening.

The power of limiting beliefs

Your adult brain is more powerful than you think. And the developing brain of a child? It is so jam-packed with potential.  It is learning things every second of the day. Here is more insight into the subconscious mind and how it is affected by limiting beliefs.

Discovering the limiting belief is half the battle and the hardest part of the work.  Once you’ve acknowledged it you can challenge that belief with questions. (Alison Wilson)

Once you figure out the ways in which you are limiting your child or children’s beliefs, ask yourself how you can change it.  Then, make positivity a habit! Practice makes perfect but if you make the commitment every day to speak positively to your children, these messages can and will stick.

40 positive things to say to children

This is not always an easy change to make.  It has taken me time to train my brain to say these things instead of instinctively reacting in a negative way. I talk about this in one of my past posts. It helps not only you but the person you are saying the positive things to!

I tell my children awesome things every day.  I tell them they are amazing.  That I’m proud that they tried.  That they’re brave.  That I love them.  That they can do it. That they are strong. I do this so often, that they have started to say these things about themselves! YES.  This stuff works, friends.  They say things like, “Mommy loves me,” “I’m strong,” “This looks hard but I can do it,” etc, on a daily basis. I have rarely been more proud as a parent.

Here are some more thoughts on raising happy kiddos. What limiting beliefs hold you back? Can you identify any speech/action patterns that might be bleeding over into the way your children think? What can you do instead?

BONUS: My kids being “strong.”


9 thoughts on “Limiting beliefs- Why you should change the way you talk to your children

  1. This is such a great message! I have know a lot of people who grew up feeling like they were worthless because of how they were talked to as children. I believe words are powerful and we must use them for inspiring and building people up…especially children.

  2. Thanks for this post! I try my best to speak positively to my kids, but you’ve made me think about how I may be unintentionally influencing their limiting beliefs.

  3. I definitely agree with this., In one of the sermons from church the pastor mentioned that every night before he puts his kids to sleep, he reminds them that they are strong and brave individuals. I have tried to start doing this.

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